Did Michael Jackson Fake His Death?

Standard

I got a few texts yesterday from friends telling me Michael Jackson died. WHAT?!?! I looked on TMZ.com and sure enough there were reporting it right. I hit up the TV to check FOX news and they were talking about financial news, and scrolling a ticker about his “cardiac arrest” and that he had been taken to the hospital. For an hour I checked these horribly slow, red-taped, expensive media spots to get the same story, although they would not state the real news that Michael Jackson Died!

Places that Sucked in getting me good news fast: http://www.foxnews.com, http://www.cnn.com, nbcnews.com aka msnbc.com, cbsnews.com, new.aol.com, news.yahoo.com, among other.

Basically PerezHilton.com and Eonline.com were the first to point to the good work done by TMZ.com TMZ hasn’t been on top since the Brit-drama crazy pics. At least Foxnews.com noted their lack of intestinal fortitude this morning and interviewed the TMZ crew.

Did Michael Jackson fake his death? No. Will Vegas be crawling with MJ impersonators in the coming years just like it has with Elvis fakes? I can’t wait to see my first Asian Michael Jackson jumping skydiving out of a plane to Beat IT. Michael sold out 50 shows in one arena, late to the game in a Saline Deon career move, but sold them out none the less and ran away to the grave with a $10mill advance. I hope they put the show on still and do some type of tribute.

Mattofact: If you’re feeling like you might not be around too long, get a big advance.